THE POINTS SYSTEM

     I’d like to think I’m still pretty young and cool. Yes, I may have a kid going on eleven who‘s almost taller than me. Yes, I may have a *few* fat rolls here and there….along with a *few* laugh-lines around my eyes. Yes, I may buy the majority of my clothes at Wal-Mart to save us money. But, you know what?? At least I can say that just five years ago I was still in my 20s! Now that’s cool! Except, when I’m 50, am I still going to be crowing the same line?
    Well, anyway, this past weekend goes to show I still got some whipper-snapper left in me, and I‘ll outline it with the cool-points system below:

 Friday night I was bowling with some friends.
Bowling + a group of  15 friends = 25 cool points
Having to use the bumpers and still scoring under 56 = -12 cool points
Then I got a phone call.
Talking on my new Droid + talking with my friend who is under 30 =  9 cool points
She invited me to Busch Gardens Williamsburg for the following day.
 Last minute plans + amusement park + kid and husbands not invited = 100 cool points.
We would be using a coupon = -27 cool points
My phone died mid conversation = -18 cool points
I got to go to Busch Gardens the next morning with three of my friends under 20 = 30 cool points.
I was the only one who packed my breakfast and ate it on the ride there = -30 cool points
I was the only one who packed a lunch too = - 30 cool points
I’m scared of roller coasters + I held their purses while they all rode the coasters = -137 points
I got my picture taken with an orange peel on my head just for sheer silliness = 35 cool points
We all used a map to get around the park = - 49 cool points
We all drank a few rounds of beer, throwing caution to the wind as to our waistlines = 300 cool points
I forgot to bring my ID, so they had to buy the beer for me =
- 600 cool points
One of the girls had her boyfriend meet up with us later.
1 cute guy + my 3 cute friends all under 20 = 1,500 cool points
He bought me beer too and now I owe him money because I didn't bring enough cash = -900 cool points
At the very end of the day the skies opened up and poured down rain leaving us soaking wet to the core.
 We were too cool to care and just laughed + we changed our clothes in the backseat of her car = 1,800 cool points
I didn’t change my wet underwear, so it stained my dry jeans like I peed on myself + I wore my pee-stained jeans to a restaurant and everyone stared at my crotch =
Subtract whatever cool points I earned the whole day.
I drank some more beer = 13 cool points
I had to do it behind the waiter’s back because he wouldn’t serve me alcohol since I forgot my ID + all my young friends laughed at me for being 34 and having to sneak beer sips = - 600 cool points
I got hit on at the bar = 9,000 cool points
He was 48 and bald + the bartender wouldn’t serve me alcohol without my ID = -6,000 cool points
We didn’t get back home until after 2am = 10,000 cool points
I had drank too many liquids + there were no bathrooms on the road we were on so I had to pee on the side of the road in the rain = - a million cool points

So while I may have come out in the negative in the end when it comes to being young and cool, I still had a great time with my young friends and we’ll be laughing about this for a long time to come.