THE HOLIDAYS

Super Tia always has good "Ofertas" or sales

The holidays have come and passed in all their pagan glory yet again here in Ecuador. We can tell commercialism has made its mark even here in the Amazon. On every corner you could find carts and stands selling tinsel, fake mini table-top Christmas trees, tiny ceramic baby Jesus’, light kits, Santa hats, and whatever else the commercials said you need. Jessamyn said just a couple years ago the locals barely knew what Christmas was. Now all of a sudden there’s parades down the main drag with child angles surrounding adult Jesus with a crooked felt beard.

The thing we really got a kick out of was the Christmas box sets for sale at our local grocery store, Super Tia. For $45 you could buy a large Tupperware filled to the brim with non-perishables. I was wondering why people didn’t buy their own plastic box and fill it with whatever they wanted so they could make it cheaper. Lack of imagination I guess. Joe received one of these gift sets from his boss. He had bought one for every teacher in the school for an end of year bonus. Rummaging through our own Tupperware was like hitting the jackpot in Vegas. Here’s what was inside: a bottle of wine, a bag of flour, a bag of rice, a bag of sugar, a bag of cookies, a bag of toffee, a box of chocolates, a can of peaches, a bottle of cooking oil, and bag of orange flavored gelatin powder. As a bonus bonus, his boss also gave us a frozen chicken and a T-shirt that has a picture of a parrot and says “Tena” across the front.

The bottle of wine got opened first. It tasted like flat coke that had expired in someone’s garage. After two sips- the last to confirm its grossness- we poured it down the drain. I think I heard a faint scream as it oozed down the pipes into the river outside. The next item to be opened and meet the same fate was the gelatin. Carlie and Aedyn couldn’t wait to make some fake Jello, so without adult supervision, they poured the powder into a bowl, poured cold water on top, and without stirring stuck it in the freezer. All in all, it was a very practical and much needed gift. We even used the tub it came in to give Maisy and Jones a bath. Christmas day was business as usual. All the stores and restaurants were open and taxi’s still giving rides around town. We took a taxi to Brutus’ Burger joint by the bridge and had burgers the size of a Frisbee. The next day, I cooked the gift-chicken and rice. It was great.

New Year’s festivities are quite unusual here and take days of preparation. First, a newspaper scarecrow must be made and outfitted with a mask of someone you don’t like so much. Maybe a neighbor or relative you can’t stand. Stores around town sell mask faces of international governmental officials or other faces that are better suited for Halloween costumes. When we lived in Ecuador before, it was common to see George Bush masks everywhere. On New Year’s eve, these scare-crows are burned to signify…something that makes sense to the locals.

Second, the food must be prepared for the upcoming feasting. Two nights before New Year’s, we couldn’t sleep due to all the hogs in our neighborhood being slaughtered. I’ll never get those pig screams out of my head. Also the beer shelves in Super Tia are emptied by all the alcoholics in town, which there are many. The drinking continues for the next three days straight.

New Year’s Eve: all of Tena is out in the streets eating and drinking after they’ve had their naps. They know it’s going to be long night. As the sun sets, the music gets louder and continues on full blast until 10am the following day. Drag queens, called viudas, parade around in short skirts on street corners collecting money from “voters” who determine the best-dressed. We all stayed home that night and cooked something from our gift Tupperware and went to bed with earplugs. At midnight I was awakened by fireworks and gunshots, but easily fell back asleep. The next morning, as we walked to the Kingdom Hall, we saw viudas laying in the middle of the street with hang-overs and mascara smeared down their cheeks. Music was still thumping out of the bar across the street.